he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
