I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
