I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
