I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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