Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize