Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
