I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
