Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
