I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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