After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
