I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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