Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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