I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
