i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
