you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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