In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
