Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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