it was like his penis was on wheels.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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