I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize