i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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