And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
