Nicole vs. Life
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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