Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
