Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
