We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
