It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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