I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
