i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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