uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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