wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
