okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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