I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
