My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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