I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
