Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
