I love having hate sex.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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