we have pet lesbian snakes
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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