i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
