how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
