what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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