There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We had to coat check the pizza.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
