i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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