i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize