you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You left your phone here
Wait...
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