He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
