I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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