let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
