I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
