Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize