just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You dont lie about slip and slides
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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