This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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