After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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