So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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