How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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