im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
