how can u be prego again
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
