he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
