I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm too high and old for this...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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